Trapped Under Water

The premise for the story was a very promising one; that of a man being trapped underwater and having a potentially life changing experience. I was looking forward to seeing how this might read and play out. All credit, therefore, must be given to the author for the very good idea behind the tale. Unfortunately, the story itself had many errors, with regards both grammar and punctuation and indeed outright mistakes, that it was impossible for the story to live up to its promise. A few examples of the latter: a whole paragraph was repeated word for word just a few lines after the first; an index finger and a forefinger are the same and yet were talked about as if they were two separate fingers; common nouns like eels, alligators and salmon do not start with capital letters; and so on. There were, in fact, some very humorous elements to the story, which I hope were intentional, and so I did enjoy those. My suggestion to the author is that, as with all material displayed publicly, a good proofreading is required. At the least It is always advisable If one gets a third party (member of family, friend) to read over something to spot any obvious errors and then one can make revisions and corrections and make a story much better before posting on-line anywhere. So, my honest opinion is that this could be a much better story than has been shown, with the right revisions; again all credit for coming up with the idea. It is just a matter of putting the idea into practice when putting it into words.