The Comment field is required (Minimum 3 character).
I am her, she is me. I know how it feels, pulling on those garments, taking pleasure from those birds, blossoming briefly in the warmth of that precious act of unconditional benevolence
Lovely little story. More please!
This is a very short but surprisingly touching story about
the destination of old age and what follows. It’s sympathetic and although it
describes the inevitable process of physical deterioration in a
matter of fact sort of way, it’s gentle and empathetic in tone.
It’s sad but uplifting for some reason you can’t quite put your finger
on- this is the sign of a successful short story. Well executed,
Beautifully written and amazing attention to detail.
My first review on here, so it's just from the heart. I loved this. The writing is very sensual - at the beginning not in a pleasant way, but in a moving way. As you said, it is very short. I personally like short and succinct, but if you wanted to you could make it longer by explaining how the old lady ended up alone. Looking forward to reading more of your writing.
Beautiful descriptions bringing a beautiful immediacy and empathy to the reader. Uplifting, yes.
A beautiful bitter sweet snapshot of her life's end. Lovely.
Susan Pearce Lever
Awwww...brought years to my eyes.Great character building
This is usually classed as 'flash-fiction'. You can read it in less time than it takes to boil a kettle. A sweet story, just as described on the synopsis.
Hullabaloo Twenty Two
This was such a moving read. You painted such a thorough picture of Queenie, and her struggles just to get through the day. A lovely moment when she shared her treasure with the birds and when the cafe owner gives her a wink, bringing back those memories of what it was like to be younger.
Great piece of flash fiction. I was able to visualise Queenie and feel her sadness. Really well written, I look forward to reading more stories by you.
A powerful short piece which is also sad and affecting...Pathos is the word I'm looking for I think. Yeah, it engenders a feeling of pathos in the reader...But also other emotions...sympathy, curiosity, fascination maybe as well... I mean we only get a tiny snapshot of this woman's routine on her last day of mortal existence and so in a sense the story invites and encourages the reader to start asking questions about this "Queenie" and to think more deeply about who she REALLY is and was and about the direction that her life took her in....I recognise pieces of this length as "flash fiction" and it's a creative form which I also enjoy trying to write from time to time...It's a lot easier said than done though when you only have a tiny word count in which to create believable engaging characters and story...
True life in so few words. It happens. There are worse things than beings alone; but not that many. Nice read. Congratulations