Story Detail

This is an outstanding piece of work, and by an author who clearly writes as a career- or should do. Grammar, punctuation, syntax- flawless. But it's the characterisation and context which is so riveting. You're drawn in to this story from the very first sentences- you're engaged as you're introduced to each new character. All are so perfectly and concisely described - just look at these for a taster. 'The barman was a big man; an ex-boxer whose broken nose and twisted lip were enough to silence all but the most obstreperous'. 'Ma McClung stood in front of him. Her bloated body was the result of steady diet of chips and mealy puddings; thinning grey hair straddled a flat, pug-like face devoid of expression at any time'. Yes, there's ugliness here, and squalor, but the author manages to describe it without being expressly condemnatory, just observing, and this is what makes the story work. Great style, great pace, and a rhythm to the writing which really captures you and draws you in to this other world. Highly recommended, and let's hope the author posts more of the same soon.

Very interesting and unusual . Was it a curse or did Billy Bone die of a heart attack? Would have liked to know if McChung got his justice. Quite descriptive and not too many characters to confuse the reader. I enjoyed this story.

A story full of a large number of well drawn characters. The way people speak is well done and the writer easily paints many scenes. The ending is unexpected and probably leaves the door open to a follow up story.

Very descriptive writing and a compelling read. The ending was never in doubt, of course, but I felt it could have been teased out a little longer. Changes of viewpoint would have worked better if there had been some physical denotation.

Beautifully descriptive but, for me, a little confusing with too many characters. We heard of Mattie and then Maggie who I had to check to see if it was a different person or a spelling mistake.

This was an excellent story, it had me transfixed from the start. I love the way you put things so simply. That pared back style makes for a dramatic feel and shows skill and a real feel for the beauty of the written word. Please put some more on here. I liked the way that you wrote the speech, in the scottish accent. It reminded me of Trainspotting. The technique is difficult for the reader at first, but with the minimum of effort the characters voice is making him/herself known. You are a very talented writer.

The plot was good, and the local accent would be appealing to some. However, for a short-story, I felt there were too many characters, and the ending is unclear.

Great character descriptions. Great story

I enjoyed the reading this. The characters were brought to life in quite a short time. The Scottish accent added texture and added to the characterisation. As a Scot I had no difficulty, but would it be a problem for someone of a different nationality? Thought provoking story.

The story seems unfinished in that we don't find out what happened to the car thief. For a short story, there are way too many characters and scene changes. Not all the characters seem to have any purpose in the story. Grammatically, the story is well-written. There is the odd error but not enough to be really noticeable. It would make a good story, but a longer one rather than a short, or even a TV drama.