Talking India...
It was a beautiful fall evening, and people were beginning to gather at sidewalk cafes on
Sherbrooke Street. Ann and Bobo were trotting down to the Westmount library, when she
spotted a friend sitting out on the terrasse at Café Pierre.
"Hi! Judy, that was a great article you wrote for The Gazette," said Ann. "Gosh, what
adventures you had in your two-week trip in India!"
Judy had kicked off her shoes, and was sitting crossed legged on a chair, her eyes
closed. She drew in a long, slow breath, held it, slowly breathed out, and opened her eyes.
"That was the last cycle of my evening pranayama," said Judy. "These lemon meringues
are excellent. Have one."
Ann hesitated, then sat down; the book could wait.
"Umm, they are so good," she said biting into one with her bright white teeth. "So tell me
more! You went all over India by train, and met snake charmers, and fakirs, and there
was this guy who tried to make out with you!"
"There's a lot of unrealized sex in India," said Judy distantly. "The Bag-van told me you
got to let it stream out, or the kundalini gets arrested here." She felt her belly button.
Ann made a face. "I guess it's no different here, eh?"
"No it is!" said Judy, her gray eyes looking through Ann. "It's more sex war here. In
India, it's got to do with everything, the trees, the smell of the land, how they dress, walk,
it's extraordinary the presence of sex in India evident but not overt!"
Ann didn't understand, but nodded companionably. Dan Finch from the CBC plopped
himself into a chair next to her, and kissed her perfunctorily, while looking at Judy. Ann
hastily made the introductions.
"Ya, I read your stuff in The Gazette good," said Dan after he had placed an order for
lemon tea and profiteroles. "Place doesn't sound real to me, if you see what I mean
none of these places do! How can there be magic out there, when when kids are dying
of hunger all over the place?"
"Well, you don't see stuff like Oxfam reports," started Judy hesitantly. "People are poor,
but I know grubby-dubbies in N.D.G. who really look far worse..."
"Hey! Judy! Welcome back. Thought the tigers would get you!" The shout came across
the street, and they saw a tall, thin man, in flannels and blazer, holding a tennis racket and
kit bag loping over, dodging honking cars, with gesticulating angry drivers.
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 1
"This is Mitch, our Man from F.O.," said Judy somewhat apologetically. "He's just
returned from darkest Kazakhstan, haven't you Mitch?"
Mitch laughed exuberantly, embraced her, lifting her off her feet, shook hands with the
rest, slumped into a chair, and signaled for a cappuccino. "No cinnamon, please," he
called after the retreating waitress. "I come out in hives if I so much as whiff cinnamon,
baffled all the docs in Europe, when my dad was in Brussels. Well, Judy? So you
survived Mother India, eh? Didn't get a spasm of Delhi belly? No? Lucky girl, everyone
else does in that gosh awful country! Everyone rushes down to India to meet their gurus,
and they come back in stretchers keeps the pharmaceutical companies in business, so
not so bad, after all."
They all laughed. "Seriously, I was worried, Judy," said Ann tentatively. "Did you take
pills and stuff to protect the water?"
Judy just smiled, and shook her head.
Mitch gurgled. "Bet you drank only beer, and were pissed out of your mind! Bet your
Bag-van cleaned out his water supply with Canadian technology. There are one or two
outfits in B.C. make a fortune selling water purifiers to Indian ash-rams!"
Dan turned to Mitch. "I guess you know something rational about that place. If people are
dying of starvation, and of disease, how come the Indians have this huge, huge
population problem? I guess they must be breeding like rabbits, at it all the time, eh?"
The men laughed. Judy looked away, showing distaste. Ann looked from one to the other;
she did want to know.
"We prop them up," said Mitch comfortably, stretching out his long legs. "Uncle Sam is
of course in there, pitching for democracy with dollars. And Whitehall is not far behind,
it never is, with the French circling round looking for pickings. They have an awful lot of
Mirages they'd like to sell."
Ann saw an opening. "You don't think there is any chance of permanent peace between
Indian and Pakistan?" she asked tentatively. "It seems an awful waste buying fighter jets
when they need to feed people!"
"I'm quite thirsty, "said Mitch. " I think I'll have a beer Molson's please! Oh, they will
be fighting from now to kingdom come, why wouldn't they? Keeps all the big fat guys in
power. Great for corruption!"
The waitress came over for orders, and put a beer down. Dan opted for another lemon tea,
and Judy and Ann thought they would like caffé lattes. The waitress looked down at
Mitch.
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 2
"I am campaigning for Quebec to extend aid, and of course business, and technologies
to India," said the waitress in a deep, throaty French-Canadian accent. "I think India
and Quebec should get close together, and, and make new policies."
Mitch and Dan looked interestedly at her retreating back.
" That's telling you, eh, boys?" said a soft, laughing voice, and Natasha Liebermann was
there, immaculately dressed in black, with a colourful silk scarf flaring out under a huge
felt hat. She looped the leash of her Pekinese round a chair arm and sat down. The dog
curled underneath, obediently.
"When last I heard, Natasha," said Dan in his loud voice, "you were calling them
Fascists!"
"Do you mind, dear?" Natasha had lit a Turkish cigarette. "It's only in Montreal that I
can smoke any more. Everyone everywhere's an open fascist. The Indians are fascists,"
she said after blowing out a ring of smoke. "But I have been living with fascists for
eighty years, so they are no different."
"Now we are ten years younger, are we?" Philip Southam, whose show: It's Gay to be
Good! was into its third week at the Bronfmann Centre, bent right down and kissed
Natasha on the lips.
Natasha patted his cheek affectionately. "Dear Phil, sit. No, my dear, I was being
accurate. Out of my ninety the first ten were spent in Russia. I saw the birth of the
Revolution, and the Soviet State. That memory has kept me going in this awful country
for the rest of my life."
"Well, I wish this country had been equally awful to me and helped me to ten million of
the best or is it twenty does anybody know, does Internal Revenue know?" said Mitch
rather nastily.
Ann hastily changed the subject. "Natasha, do you think socialism is the answer for
India's problems? Wouldn't they miss out on economic growth, the world is so
competitive!"
Natasha looked at Ann with concern." Are you eating enough fruit, my dear?" she asked.
"At this time of year I start drinking orange juice by the gallon. Vitamin C is the only
thing that keeps me going, and I thank Linus Pauling for it everyday, wherever he may
be. He was very brave, he was a lion, and fought against these capitalist pigs! Terrible!
Terrible! Terrible! How they bombed those poor people in Vietnam, and now they are
bombing them in Iraq for their oil, and they would bomb India if it had anything
worthwhile!"
"Hey, Judy, tell Natasha about your experiences with the Bag-van!" said Dan, wanting to
see a better fight.
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 3
"I was with the Bag-van in his ash-ram for two weeks," said Judy looking quietly at
Natasha. "It was soul fulfilling."
"I don't believe in godmen, dear, any more than I have ever believed in all this
Christianity nonsense," said Natasha, stubbing out her cigarette. "People are lost. This
dog eat dog world of capitalism is enough to drive anyone, even a beautiful girl like you,
halfway across the world to a Bag-van!"
"Oh, I don't know," said Judy. "I think we all need to get out of our blinkers and explore.
I think you need to look outside and inside as well. Why don't you go to India and see for
yourself, Natasha?"
It was said like a challenge. "What do you want me to do, Judy? Go there with my white
face and my money and lord it over all those poor people running around without shoes?"
"Well, Eddie's guys did it for two hundred years without any problems," said Mitch
mischievously, calling over a portly bald man, who was passing by. Edward Sanderson
had almost made a career out of his Oxbridge accent, his air of being the scion of a noble
house, though his father had been a barber in Leeds, and a way he had of saying
inconsequential things with gravity. The Canadians liked him for being a comic-book
Brit. He bent low over Natasha's hand, and creaked into a chair.
"I think I'll have a double whisky and soda," murmured Edward, "old habits die hard. I
did spend many years in India for Imperial Tobacco, marvelous people Indians, very
good at carrying out orders, but not so good for taking initiative. Company started to lose
money when we had to hand over the reins."
"Eddie, I will burst a blood vessel if I listen to you," said Natasha getting up. "I have to
take Mei Ling for her walk. Come darling, and let's leave these Saheebs at their trough."
"Any time, dear lady, you want another tip at the Market," called out Edward pleasantly.
"I don't know what you guys are bitching about," asked Phil plaintively, I don't think
you know what's happening today I mean right now. The Indians are taking over! They
are everywhere. I mean they are in L.A.! You have to buy a car from them, a house, a
phone, anything in the market. And Vancouver, they are calling it Bangalore North!"
"It's a bubble, and will burst, Phil," murmured Edward in his best British manner. "You
need real muscle to sustain this kind of growth, and that's what Uncle Sam's got, and
that's what we've had in Britain for a very long time, and if can get rid of the present set
of wafflers..."
"Come on, Eddie, Britain is down and out for the count," said Mitch comfortably. "That's
why you are here."
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 4
Phil was not to be stopped. "The Indians are taking over, I tell you! They are going
berserk over growth, never mind what, the devastation is unbelievable, and all the trees
are being chopped, they've killed off all the tigers..."
"Well, any that our Sahib here left alive, eh, Eddie?" said Dan. Everyone laughed, and
Edward joined in, since the image of a shikari made him look good.
Ann turned to Judy anxiously. "Judy, that's true, isn't it? I mean one reads of
environmental destruction in tropical countries, and irreversible climate change. The
polar caps are melting, it's scary!"
"Their bloody farting cows!" said Mitch dramatically. "All that methane let into the air, it
will kill us all." The women made a face, the men laughed.
Richard Everton, professor of anthropology at McGill, had parked his car at the kerb and
dashed into the café to buy some pastries. They caught him as he came out.
"Ricky! You've got to join us. We are talking India, and we need you to sort out this
thing about sacred cows," said Ann catching hold of his sleeve.
Richard looked uncomfortable. "I better put money into the meter," he said. "Anyone got
quarters?" A generous donation was quickly put together. Richard put his box of pastries
on the table, and ran to his car, and everyone had a pastry without asking.
"Hey, Guys! Well, I guess I'll have to buy one more box,"said Richard helplessly. "It's
all part of the Hindu belief system," he said hesitantly later, making a pyramid of his
fingers. " Cows aren't the only things sacred in India, many things are sacred, in fact the
world is divided between what is sacred and what is not, even time, there are auspicious
times of the day, and periods when one should not start a journey, or, or undertake a good
act. And even with people..."
"You mean there are sacred Brahmins," butted in Dan, "and then the rest who are just OK
and then more who are untouchable? Sounds crazy to me? How can anyone live in such a
complicated way?"
Richard was in his element. "Actually the concept simplifies life, and its choices.
Everyone knows his place in society he knows what his life is going to be like, what
work he will do, it's really a rather marvelous concept of social organization."
"Christ's sake, Richard!" called out Mitch. "So it's marvelous is it that some poor sod is
born to clean other people's shit? Come off it, it's a sick society! I wish Dulles had done
something about those arrogant guys when he was in power. He was the only one who
could have."
"Don't be a bigger bastard than you can help, Mitch," said Judy, evenly. "Every society
is shitty. What about all the guck we breathe in everyday, which you celebrate as
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 5
economic growth? They have something to offer the world in India. Only guys like you
are beyond all help, I guess."
Mitch was in combative mood. "Oh, you would like to have been born in India, would
you, Judy?" he challenged. "You would like to be an Indian woman, hunh? Do you know
how many women out there get burnt to death by their own husbands, with the whole
family standing round helping with kerosene because those poor women couldn't cough
up enough dowry? You wanna get in there, with your sari over your head, waiting to be
burnt?"
Ann couldn't let this pass. "Women get raped and killed all the time in the States. All
cities are unsafe for women, you have to be a woman to know that. Montreal used to be a
safe city, not anymore. I kinda have to keep looking out whenever I'm coming home
late." Dan and Phil nodded gravely.
"Ya, but it's not institutionalized," continued Mitch. "Sure the Indians have laws, but
wink, wink, the police know nothing needs to be done when a woman is killed. I'm not
romantic about these people. They may evolve, but right now they are up in the trees.
Know what will give them a chance - we must lay down the law."
"My dear, fellow," murmured Edward, "I've always felt we left fifty years too early.
Lord Mountbatten was an idealist, and that's a dangerous thing to be in a realist world."
"How bloody realist are any of you?" challenged Judy, getting up and gathering her
purse. "I think you guys are just pathetic, fooling no one but yourselves." She walked
away without looking back.
The men called out after her, but she did not turn back.
"I do wish I could find out what's really going on, without everyone getting into a fight,"
said Ann ruefully.
"Well, that's what the caste system does," said Richard. "It's a marvelous system by
which people can avoid fights in a crowded world."
"The Boers tried it. It's called apartheid," said Mitch.
"It's very, very different. How can I explain it? It's not externally ordered, Mitch, it
works or rather it worked, till we messed it up because of inner belief. Do you get
that?" asked Richard as if he was in a lecture hall.
"Oh! You mean like inner policing?" said Phil quickly. "Ya, I know all about that. Like
Straight guys are OK, Gays have something wrong about them? Same thing, eh, like
caste? Internal policing?"
"Guys, guys, guys..." said Ann trying to be placating.
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 6
"I think this is getting nowhere," said Dan getting up. "I think the solution is simple. Just
pump in modern technology, modern business practice, and maybe I don't know, but
maybe I guess I gotta go. See you guys around." With a wave he was gone after leaving
cash on the table.
Everyone was getting up, settling with the waitress, who showed up like magic. Ann
hung back, waving goodbye.
"Hi! You said sometime back you were doing a campaign about India," she asked the
waitress a little shyly.
The waitress counted the money, stuffed it into the pouch in front of her apron, tore the
checks left behind to show they'd been paid, and sat down opposite Ann. She was slim
and tall, with a long attractive face, framed by short black hair.
"At the CEGEP, you know, I study for my degree, and the professor, she took dancing in
India. She says the view from India is different, how you say..." she rubbed her fingers
together thoughtfully, " like people are different, with different problems, but they
struggle, yes? We also in Quebec are misunderstood, so we work together, yes? Show
solidarity with India... yes?"
"Yes," said Ann and nodded.
"Next Saturday come to my college," invited the waitress. "We have India day, sell
handicrafts, Indian food, jewelry, you will like it." Ann nodded. She had almost forgotten
about the library. If she hurried, she could still get that book.
Vithal Rajan, Sun Acre, 17/136 F@, Ketti-Palada Road, Ketti 643215,The Nilgiris,
Tamil Nadu, India. Email: vithal.rajan@gmail.com
Page 7